


A Dark Dawn

by BlackUnicorn



Series: Walking Into Love (With My Eyes Wide Open) [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, BAMF Natasha Romanov, BAMF Sharon Carter (Marvel), Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Character Death, Established Relationship, Everyone Needs A Hug, Hopeful Ending, Hydra (Marvel), Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Love Conquers All, M/M, Memories, Natasha Romanoff is Not Perfect, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha's past, POV Natasha Romanov, POV Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers as the Winter Soldier, They Both Fell Off The Train, True Love, Violence, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-01 04:52:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13990869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackUnicorn/pseuds/BlackUnicorn
Summary: “What do you know about the Winter Soldiers?”“Some people say they are nothing but a ghost story. A way to scare people. Intimidate them. Those who do believe they exist, say that they move like shadows. They say they always work together. Heartless. Merciless. They say they cannot be killed.”“And what do you believe, Agent Romanoff?”“Everyone can be killed.”, Natasha answered, “You just have to know how.”





	A Dark Dawn

“What do you know about the Winter Soldiers?”

“Some people say they are nothing but a ghost story. A way to scare people. Intimidate them. Those who do believe they exist, say that they move like shadows. They say they always work together. Heartless. Merciless. They say they cannot be killed.”

“And what do you believe, Agent Romanoff?”

“Everyone can be killed.” Natasha answered, “You just have to know how.”

She had grown up with the stories. Stories about the Captain and the Sergeant, the Winter Soldiers.

Once they had your name, you were a dead man walking, they said.

You would never see them coming until they were laughing in your face, covert in your blood.

They could infiltrate every regime and take it down within a week.

They could sit beside you on the train and you would never know.

The Red Room had praised them.

Natasha hated them.

There had been six of them. Six young girls, orphans, taken in and trained by the Red Room to become spies and assassins, and the Winter Soldiers had destroyed them all. All except Natasha. She had gotten away with a scar and five dead sisters.

Now, that had been ten years ago and Natasha wasn’t one to hold grudges but she was only human and she hated the Winter Soldiers. She was also the only one who had met them and lived to tell the tale.

“What else can you tell me about them?”

“They are both fast and strong. They fight as if they were one person, one mind. They don’t take hostages and they don’t torture unless it’s part of their mission.”

“And who gives those missions, Agent Romanoff?”

“I don’t know.”

“Alright than you. I trust you not to repeat anything that has been said in this room to anyone.”

“Of course, sir.”

* * *

 

There were a handful of Truths, the Captain knew.

The Truth was: He had to protect the Sergeant under all circumstances.

The Truth was: The Captain could not trust anyone, except the Sergeant.

The Truth was: The Sergeant had a name

Those were things he knew, had always known, would always know – but he didn’t know how.

Those were things imprinted in his brain. Things the Chair could not take away from him.

Those were things he knew but did not speak of ever.

_Bucky_.

It was a name that tasted sweet on his lips, a name whispered in cold nights and dark corners when no one was around except the Sergeant’s body, warm against his. It was a name that gave him comfort and strength. A name that meant everything.

The Sergeant had a name for him too. _Steve_. The Captain did not know who Steve was but he trusted the Sergeant so he accepted it.

They were on mission in Ronsdorf; a small village in Germany, where one of HYDRA’s heads was hiding out after selling secrets to S.H.I.E.L.D.

The Captain wasn’t entitled to his own opinion; he was a weapon and weapon didn’t have opinions, but if you _had_ asked him, he would have said that Maximilian Gerber was a stupid man and that he, the Captain, would have done a better job at hiding.

It was a small mission. Just he, the Sergeant and four handlers who were just there to fulfil the protocol and to make sure the Winter Soldiers didn’t step out of line. Which they wouldn’t.

The Captain couldn’t have known this but the last incident had been in the 1950s and after that it had become an unspoken law to never ever separate the two assassins. Back then the Captain had been sent to Poland to retrieve information from the government, or that’s what he’d been supposed to do, what had actually happened was something no one spoke of but had involved a lot of blood, dead HYDRA agents and an out – of – control Winter Soldier.

It was a small mission and the target wasn’t making it difficult. The night was cold and dark, the moon hidden by clouds and the two Winter Soldiers moved soundlessly through the shadows towards the house Gerber was living in. The four handlers were waiting in a van around the corner, ready to make a quick exit if needed or to intervene should something go wrong. The inside of the house was warm and the Captain quickly made a mental note of the outlay.

_Combined kitchen and living room to the right; bathroom and bedroom upstairs. No security systems, no animals_.

Maximilian Gerber was sleeping soundly in his bed, his mouth hanging open and drool running out of the corner. The Captain wrapped his hand around the man’s throat while covering his mouth with the other. Gerber’s eyes shot open wide and the Captain could see the panic in them as he started thrashing and kicking but it was pointless; the Soldier was too heavy, too strong, and he hardly noticed the feeble attempts of the target to get free. Never breaking eye contact, the Captain waited, squeezing, watching the target’s life seeping through his hands until his body went slack. Until his heart stopped beating.

_Mission complete._

The Sergeant had been standing guard and hardly reacted when the Captain stepped into his space and took off the goggles and the mask covering the lower half of his face. Gentle. Almost caressing. They stared at each other, memorizing every hair, every scar, every detail – and they would forget. They always forgot.

The kiss was quick and dirty, without emotions. The Winter Soldiers did not have emotions. But for some reason this felt _right_ and _good_ and _natural_. The Captain had no real memories of prior missions, except for dull echoes and hazy images and _Bucky_. It was their secret. The only secret they had. The only thing HYDRA could not touch. This was _theirs_.

* * *

 

Natasha was a smart woman. Scratch that, she was fucking brilliant; the problem was, though, that she wasn’t the only one. Nicholas Joseph Fury, as Stark had expressed so eloquently, was _the_ Spy, his secrets had secrets, and he’d been in this line of business before Natasha had even been born…and he was concerned. That much was obvious, and a concerned Nick Fury equalled a terrified Natasha Romanoff and that was a feeling she didn’t like at all. Fear. Helplessness. These were all things she couldn’t allow herself, so she swallowed them down and got to work.

The Winter Soldiers.

The Legend.

“I need your help.”, she spoke into her phone. Just one sentence. No greeting, no names, no explanations. It was enough. The call disconnected as soon as the last word had left her mouth and Natasha nodded in satisfaction, smiling faintly.

She had a job to do.

* * *

 

“жела́ниe"

_Deep blue eyes. Beautiful blue eyes. Dark hair. And a smile, a warm smile, a bright smile._

_He wanted – he_ wanted _–_

“ржавый “

_Dirt and mud. Pain pulsating through his body. Gentle hands holding him up, soothing him. Words like silk whispered into his ear.._

_Blood dripping down, down, down. Deep crimson on reddish – brown._

“семнадцать”

_A shy look in his eyes. A blush on his cheeks. A name dying on his lips._

_Bucky_

_Bucky_

_Bucky_

_A kiss, warm and soft and promising._

“рассвет”

_Hope - lost._

_A new dawn - dark._

_A dream – shattered and broken._

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

“печь”

_Burning hot on ice cold. Shivering hands and trembling lips. Tears, frozen to the skin, unshed._

_And comfort. And Safety._

_Shelter and solace._

“девять”

_Falling leaves and cooling air. A spell bound by the last rays of sunshine. Never to be broken. Never to be touched._

_Soldiers marching on._

_A family so far from home,_

“добосердерчный”

_A touch, faint and fleeting._

_Hands roaming over scarred skin._

_Caring. Kind. Merciful._

“возвращение на ро́дину”

_A vow spoken into the dead of night._

_An oath that binds, strong and everlasting._

_Faith._

“oдин”

_Snow and ice and fire. High mountains._

_One last kiss._

_One last goodbye._

“грузовой вагон”

_Wind whistling through the air._

_Fear._

_Desperation._

_Falling._

_Falling._

_Falling._

* * *

 

The preparations had taken longer than Natasha had anticipated but she was nothing if not patient and as always, it paid out.

“What did you find?”, she asked the blonde woman opposite to her.

“Money transition and a new name a few weeks ago. Maximilian Gerber. I tracked him down in Germany but he was already dead. Suffocation. Clean work, no evidence.”

“In exchange for what?”, Natasha asked while sipping on her coffee.

“That was a little trickier.”, the other woman replied, “It looked like someone made a huge effort getting rid of whatever it was but – I found a name.”

“What name?”

“HYDRA”

* * *

 

The Captain was…restless…agitated. He shouldn’t be either of those things but –

“Sir, they have been out of Cryo for too long. The last wipe was weeks ago. The Soldiers are getting unstable. Violent. I don’t advise you to send them on a mission in this state.”

“And I didn’t ask for your advice. We don’t have time for this. Project Insight will launch in two days and I have people sticking their noses into places they shouldn’t be sticking them. I don’t care what you do as long as it keeps them functional.”

“But –“

“Do not talk back to me! I want the Assets ready for briefing in fifteen minutes. That’s an order.”

The old man ( _Pierce, his name is Pierce)_ walked out of the room and a soldier, _Rumlow_ –

_Why do I know these names? I’m not supposed these names_

\- approached the Winter Soldiers, machine gun grabbed tightly in his hands, “You heard the boss. Get them ready.” he bellowed at the technicians in the room who scrambled to comply.

The Captain was…angry…furious. He looked at the Sergeant who stared straight ahead, his face expressionless except for his eyes, his eyes were glazed over, unseeing, as if – as if –

The Captain was…sad…ashamed.

_It was a cold night. A dark night._

_Two black motorcycles racing behind a car on an empty street. The Captain on the left, the Sergeant on the right. They had a mission. Neutralize target and retrieve the cargo from the car. One clean shot at the tire had the car skidding off the street into a line of trees and the Soldiers came to a halt next to it._

_Mission incomplete._

_The Captain rounded the car and opened the passenger door while the Sergeant too the driver. The woman was not part of the mission but the orders had been clear._

_No witnesses._

_A single bang of the woman’s head against the dashboard and she was dead. The Captain straightened up and walked back to the Sergeant who stood over the target and punched him with his metal fist again and again and again and –_

* * *

 

Natasha had heard of HYDRA. Of course she had. But HYDRA in relation to S.H.I.E.L.D.? That was something she didn’t want to believe, but she trusted Sharon, and if Agent 13 said that that’s what she had seen than she had no choice _but_ to believe it.

It was unsettling, to be honest.

_What do you know about the Winter Soldiers?_

Someone had sold information about HYDRA to S.H.I.E.L.D. for money and a new identity.

_And who gives those missions, Agent Romanoff?_

Someone deleted information about HYDRA from the S.H.I.E.L.D. databases.

_Maximilian Gerber…he was already dead._

Someone who wanted to protect HYDRA.

Someone inside S.H.I.E.L.D.

_Well, shit._

* * *

 

Three targets.

Level 10. Nicholas Joseph Fury. Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Level 7. Sharon Carter. Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Level 7. Natalia Alianovna "Natasha" Romanoff, AKA Black Widow. Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Time limit: 48 hours

* * *

 

The moment she saw Brock Rumlow sitting in a café across the street, Natasha new she had fucked up. One quick scan of her surroundings showed five men in total. Rumlow at the café, two men walking behind her, and two not – so – subtly eying her through the window of a shop. All fife of them S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, which just confirmed her theory.

_S.H.I.E.L.D. is compromised._

Natasha felt almost flattered that they had sent five agents after her. But only almost.

_What are you waiting for?_ She wondered while she kept walking down the street as if nothing was wrong because clearly, they had to be waiting for something.       

Down the street, further and further, her pace steady and calm, while her attention was fixed on the five men. They were merely watching her. Natasha turned a street corner, silently thanking the heavens for the after – work rush hour which meant that there were even more people than usual; she could easily blend into the crowd. Become invisible. Work out her next steps.

_What are you waiting for?_

* * *

 

The Captain and the Sergeant stood on each side of the street, unmoving, blending into the shadows, while waiting for their first target. The street was relatively empty, so neither of them had any problem spotting the black SUV that was speeding down around the corner, closely followed by two police cars. One look and a sharp nod, and the Soldiers moved in unison onto the street. Two grenade launchers were aimed at the car and fired, sending it flying through the air and landing on its roof with a deafening noise. They turned around and slowly strode towards the wreckage, weapons ready at hand.

The car was empty.

_Mission incomplete._

* * *

 

After changing trains a couple of times, always sticking to the large crowds, Natasha had finally gotten rid of her shadows and was now making her way towards the safe house where she would meet up with Sharon. Hopefully. It wasn’t an official S.H.I.E.L.D. safe house but one of her own which should provide enough protection until she had a solid plan.

The pieces were slowly falling into place, creating a picture, bigger than anything Natasha had ever seen.

At the house, Sharon was already waiting for her and together they did a thorough sweep for bugs or traps, finding none.

“I have more news,” her friend informed her, as soon as they had settled down at the kitchen table, out of sight from the windows, “After digging deeper and crosschecking some facts, I found out that S.H.I.E.L.D. employed Arnim Zola, the lead scientist of HYDRA up until his arrest in 1945. Ever since then there has been loads of small movements in the bank accounts that can’t be explained. It’s subtle and you wouldn’t notice if you don’t know what you’re looking for. If you asked me, it almost looks like HYDRA has never been destroyed but rather moved underground and grew under the protection of S.H.I.E.L.D.” Natasha nodded. Those were thing she had already suspected. “Now, Maximilian Gerber, or as he used to be called, Matt Grimm, sold information to S.H.I.E.L.D.. Information concerning the Winter Soldiers and something called Project Insight, obviously he had no idea that HYDRA had infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D. and as soon as the data had come through it was destroyed. Or most of it was, anyway. I got the name of the project and that’s pretty much it _but_ , the part about the Winter Soldiers was…interesting.”

“What did it say?”

“You know I never actually believed they existed until now. I kind of wish they didn’t.” with a few movements of her fingers, Sharon pulled up two files, “My Russian isn’t the best but…” she gestured at the screen and Natasha turned her attention towards what was before her eyes and – blinked.

“That shouldn’t be possible,” she muttered.

“That’s what I thought,” Sharon agreed, “Keep reading.”

Natasha obeyed and moved her eyes away from the pictures. Two men. Both tall and well build. One blonde, one brunette. The names in the files confirmed it.

 

_Name: Steven Grant Rogers_

_Birth: 04.07.1918_

_Codename: The Captain_

_Name: James Buchanan Barnes_

_Birth: 10.03.1917_

_Codename: The Sergeant_

* * *

 

It had taken them a whole of 30 minutes to pick up their target’s trace and follow it to the outskirts of the city to a small apartment. The Soldiers kept their distance and satisfied themselves with observing. The apartment wasn’t empty.

The Sergeant was standing a few feet away, frowning lightly. The Captain frowned too. He didn’t know why.

They had 36 hours left to complete the mission.

A sudden noise coming from the apartment, drew the Captain’s attention away from the other Asset and he could see that all three people in the apartment had moved in front a window. The targets. All three of them. Both women had drawn their guns, pointing them at the man who was holding up his hands in surrender.

The Captain frowned again.

Something wasn’t right. He felt – he _felt_ –

Restless.

Agitated.

Angry.

Furious.

Sad.

Ashamed.

* * *

 

“How did you find us?” Sharon demanded to know, her gun steady in her hands.

“I didn’t. I was just looking for a safe place to stay. S.H.I.E.L.D. is compromised.”Fury answered.

“Yeah, we noticed,” Natasha said, “What happened?”

“I was attacked. Two men, I…I believe they were the Winter Soldiers.”

Natasha cursed under her breath. She didn’t like this. She didn’t like this at all.

“What’s Project Insight?” she asked and if she had been anyone else, she would have missed the way the Director had flinched ever so slightly, his breathing hitching in his throat, before winning back his composure, “How do you know about that?”

“Just answer the question, Nick.”

“Project Insight was supposed to be the future. Three Helicarriers synced to a network of targeting satellites; equipped with long range precision guns. The satellites can read DNA. Threat elimination before a crime is even committed.”

“What? Are you insane?” Sharon cried out, “What is this? The Minority Report? Do we execute people now on mere suspicion?”

“We do what needs to be done.”

“You said ‘was supposed to be’.” Natasha noted.

“Yes.” Nick nodded, “Something went wrong. I can’t tell you what because before I could find out I was ambushed on the street.”

“So you decided to come here.” Natasha stated, still not lowering her gun. There was something she was missing.

“As I said, I needed a safe place.” Fury repeated, “Now if you could all move away from the window, that would be great.”

He had a point. Natasha turned her head to check if someone was watching them; there was nothing. Still, she drew the curtains close just in case.

* * *

 

_The sound of guns. Explosions. Fire._

_Scalding heat._

_He was running. Running. Running._

_“We gotta get outta here!”_

_The Serg – no – no –_

_Bucky_

The Captain opened his eyes and was met by a familiar face. The Sergeant – _Bucky_ – was kneeling in front of him, holding him by his shoulders, tight. But the Soldier didn’t even register the touch, all he could feel was the pain. Like millions of needles penetrating his brain, tearing it apart. He saw the Sergeant’s face, blank of all emotions, but he also saw another face, a kind face, a face full of love and laugher.

“Are you in pain?” the Sergeant asked; there was a crease between his eyebrows and his lips were pressed into a thin line. _Concern_.

“I – I –“, the Captain didn’t know how to answer, didn’t have the words to express what he had been feeling. What he _was_ feeling. “I remembered.”, he whispered in lack of better words. The other Asset reeled back as if he had been slapped, his face growing hard, “No, you didn’t.” he said, like it was a fact, like it was impossible, and maybe it was. There was nothing to remember.

He was the Winter Soldier.

He always had been the Winter Soldier.

He always would be the Winter Soldier.

_But I remember._

* * *

 

It was getting dark but they still hadn’t left. They were safe for now. If HYDRA had found them they would have kicked in the door already and they still didn’t have a solid plan about how to proceed.

“I’m telling you, Nick, there is nothing to safe. S.H.I.E.L.D. – HYDRA – there is no difference. You want to bring down the one, you have to bring down the other.” Natasha argued. She didn’t like it. She didn’t like it at all, but she knew she was right.

“And what do you propose to do, Agent Romanoff?”

“We go public.”

“Excuse me?”

“Think about it, Nick. HYDRA is this strong because nobody knows it even exists. If we publish all of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s secrets we also take away HYDRA’s cover.”

“Guess I better start applying for new jobs then,” Sharon muttered to herself before raising her voice, “Natasha’s right. We do this right or not at all."

“It looks like I've been outvoted.” Fury stated. He looked incredibly tired and old and suddenly Natasha felt a bit sorry for him. She new how it felt when everything you believe in turned out to be a lie.

“It sure does” Sharon replied, her face mostly blank, but Natasha could still see the feeling of betrayal. The desire to deny what was happening. Not that she was worried, she rusted Sharon and she knew the blonde would do whatever was necessary.

* * *

 

The light in the apartment was switched off and that was the moment the Soldiers had waited for. Without a sound, both Assets slid of the roof and approached the house. This was familiar territory; the Captain and the Sergeant moving together as one, an expansion of each other’s minds.

They had 30 hours left to complete the mission.

Listening intently, the Captain waited for sounds but there was nothing except for the steady breaths of three people. The Sergeant had taken position to cover the windows – shoot on sight – while the Captain opened the door silently, his in one hand, a knife in the other. Everything was quiet. Too quiet. Everything was –

A body slammed into him, a hand grabbed his knife, pressing it to his throat, strong arms were holding him down, the muzzle of a gun was pressed against his temple something hard landed on his head and everything went black.

* * *

 

Natasha looked at the Winter Soldier. The Captain, no doubt.

He wasn’t just tall, he was huge. Huge and big. His blond hair was long. The lower half of his face had been covered by a mask, his eyes by goggles. They had taken both away from him, along with the weapon arsenal he had been carrying. A shield, two guns, six knives, three smoke grenades, three hand grenades and something that looked like poison. Now, the Captain was bound to the bed, not that that could hold him, but Natasha hoped that the three weapons pointed at him, would at least make him hesitate.

It had been Natasha's elboy that had hit the Captain's head. Hard. Hard enough to knock him unconcious and now he lay motionless on the bed while they all waited in tense silence. Natasha was certain that the other Soldier, the Sergeant, was out there. Waiting. Preying on them.

With a low gasp, the Captain woke up, his eyes snapping open, and the chains around his torso breaking as he sat up.

“At ease, Soldier.” Fury commanded and – miraculously – the Captain froze, looking with wide eyes from Fury, to Natasha, to Sharon, and back to Fury before he spoke. It was just one word, but it broke Natasha’s heart, “Bucky.”

And, _god_ , he looked so young, so…vulnerable. Scared. Confused. Lost. Like he had no idea what was happening. And although Natasha knew, she very well knew, that this could just be an act, a way to get them to lower their defense, it still did something to her.

“Where is your partner, Soldier?” she asked, bringing as much authority into her voice as she could muster, but the Soldier didn’t answer. She hadn’t really expected him to. He just looked at her with wide eyes, before his gaze shifted to something behind her and that – that was not good. “Get down!” she yelled before she could think better of it and not a second too soon. Natasha dropped to the floor just as three bullets flew threw the door in quick succession. One for each of them. There was a loud noise as the door was kicked in and Natasha could see from the corner of her eye that it was the Sergeant, wearing the same black stealth suit as the Captain, his rifle steady and secure in his hands. Once again, Natasha moved out of instinct, not questioning her actions as she rolled forward, one knife in her hand and jumped onto the bed, behind the Captain, the blade pressed against his throat, drawing blood.

“Bucky.”

And the Sergeant – Bucky – stopped. Natasha had seen many things in her life but this…this was new and she couldn’t explain it. It was clear that something must have happened to the Captain because he wasn’t fighting her. He just…sat there. And the other Soldier stared at his partner and although Natasha couldn’t see his face, she was sure that she would have seen fear in his eyes.

“Steve.”

Okay, so obviously they knew each other…"I’m not going to hurt him,” Natasha spoke up, “But only if you lower your weapon.”

The Sergeant shook his head so lightly that Natasha nearly didn’t catch it, “You’re my mission.” He all but growled.

“And Steve here is your friend, isn’t he? You want him to die?” Natasha increased the pressure of the knife just so but it was the enough to get the Sergeant to tense up, “Lower the weapon, Soldier.”

“Bucky.” It sounded like a plea, like a prayer, like something beyond Natasha’s comprehension, but the Soldier seemed to understand, and suddenly it hit Natasha…the man she was currently threatening with a knife was Steve Rogers. Not the Winter Soldier. Steve Rogers who was begging his best friend to recognize him. And he did. The Sergeant stepped back; he didn’t quite lower the rifle but he took a less threatening posture, his muscles still tense and ready for action.

* * *

 

“Steve.” Bucky’s voice sounded raw. Strangled. He was scared for the Man. _Steve_. Bucky had called him Steve, so that had to be his name. Bucky would never lie to him. The blade cutting into his skin hurt. Everything hurt. He had a vague idea of how he had gotten here, hazy pictures of blood and violence. The Man – _Steve_ – didn’t want to hurt anybody. Not anymore. He… _remembered_. “You’re my friend,” he spoke, eyes never leaving Bucky’s goggles, hoping he could see the blue eyes hiding behind them, “I know you.”

“You are compromised.” Bucky told him; there was the faintest trace of a tremble in his voice.

“I _know_ you.”

“I must call our handlers.”

“Bucky!” he called out. He didn’t know why. It was the only word on his mind. The only word that made sense.

“Why do you call me that?” Bucky snapped. Confused. Scared.

“Why do you call me Steve?”

“I don’t…I don’t know…” Frustration. The Man – _Steve_ – knew that feeling too. Bucky let go of his rifle with his metal hand and slowly raised it, up, up, up, to his mask, taking it off, to his goggles, revealing his eyes, he was – crying. “You are compromised.” He repeated and raised the gun once again but this time at Steve, the barrel pointing straight at Steve’s head, “I have to – I have to –“

“End of the line.” Steve muttered, more to himself than to anyone else, he didn’t even know where the words came from. Or what they meant. But they were important. They… made Bucky hesitate…? Without thinking, Steve shifted, moved, away from the woman – _Level 7._ _Natalia Alianovna "Natasha" Romanoff, AKA Black Widow. Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D._ the voice in the back of his head provided, _Mission incomplete_ – and towards Bucky.

“Freight car” he said.

_Falling._

“One”

_One last goodbye._

 “Homecoming”

_Faith._

“Benign”

_Caring. Kind. Merciful._

“Nine”

_A family so far from home,_

“Furnace”

_Shelter and solace._

“Daybreak”

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

“Seventeen”

_A kiss, warm and soft and promising._

“Rusted”

_Blood dripping down, down, down. Deep crimson on reddish – brown._

 “Longing”

_He wanted – he_ wanted _–_

He had no idea where the words came from, but he knew what they meant.

Bucky had sunken to his kneed, the rifle clattering to the floor, his hands pressed against his head as though he was in pain. Steve knew that pain.

Memories. Remembering.

It shouldn’t be real. It shouldn’t be happening.

And yet it was. And yet it did.

* * *

 

“Bucky?” The Captain – _Steve_ – asked cautiously and the brunette raised his head, “Do you know who I am?”

“Stevie?”

Natasha was speechless. Those words, those random words, they seemed to have managed to turn the Sergeant into…something else. Away from the HYDRA assassin into a young man, branded by war and loss.

_What the hell did they do to you?_

“Natasha,” a frail voice came from her right and Natasha turned her head, her attention still halfway focused on the two men crouching on the floor – and her stomach turned. Sharon was kneeling next to Fury, who – “He’s dead, Natasha.” There was a pool of blood underneath Nick’s body, dark and wet. She gulped.

“Okay…okay,” _deep breaths,_ “We need to move.”

“What about them?” Sharon nodded at the Winter Soldiers who payed them no mind at all.

“They’re coming with us.” Something might have changed, and they might not be in a particularly murderous mood right now but Natasha still didn’t trust them one bit. These men were dangerous.

“What about Nick? We can’t just leave him here.”

Natasha closed her eyes for a moment. _Deep breaths_. “We’ll come back for him. Sharon…we _have_ to leave.” She insisted, meeting the blonde’s gaze who nodded slowly. She understood.

“Alright.”

“I’m sorry.” _I really am_.

“No. No, you’re right…we can’t stay here.” Sharon agreed and got up from the ground, her eyes shifting to the two Winter Soldiers. The Captain and the Sergeant – Steve and Bucky – had their arms wrapped around each other, not speaking, not doing anything, except breathing and _being_. Natasha felt almost sorry for them, seeing these two young men – younger than her – holding onto each other like a fricking lifeboat that would keep them from drowning.

“Soldiers.” She addressed them. Predictably, both men jumped and within the split of a second – and a movement not even Natasha could follow – the Sergeant – _Bucky…his name is Bucky_ – had gotten to his feet and shoved Steve behind him, shielding him with his body. “Stand down, Soldier.” She commanded but the man didn’t listen. He remained exactly where he was. A barrier between Steve and Natasha; ready to defend, ready to fight, ready to kill. It was Steve who laid his hand on Bucky’s shoulder, that got him to relax ever so slightly, “You’ll have to come with us. S.H.I.E.L.D. could show up here any second, which means HYDRA will be here.” At the mention of the two organizations, both men tensed up.

_Good. At least they seem to remember something,_ she thought, _we might be able to use that later on._

But before she could do anything else, her phone began to ring and Natasha froze. That phone wasn’t supposed to ring. The only person who had this number was in this room with her and – the ringing stopped and instead she received a text message.

 

From: Your Favorite Billionaire

_Ur ride is waiting on the roof bring blondie and the manchurian candidates i got two birds with me who wont shut up and the cavalry will be here soon_

_Xoxo TS_

 

Frowning at the words, Natasha took a moment longer than necessary to think…Stark was not working for S.H.I.E.L.D….in fact, he had always been suspicious of their actions. But could she trust him?

_i got two birds with me_

Natasha just hoped that she wasn’t making a huge mistake right now.

* * *

 

They were taken to the roof where a Quinjet was waiting for them. Three men inside.

_Early - to mid - 30s. 6'2". 240lbs. (Ex -) military. Possibly armed  
_

_Late 30's, early 40's. 5'9". 200lbs. Archer. Armed  
_

_Late 30's, eraly 40's. 5'8". 190lbs. Rich. Unarmed  
_

_All three are capable fighters.  
_

“How did you know where we are?” the Black Widow asked as soon as they were in the air.

“Skills,” the dark – haired man said from the pilot seat and the Widow rolled her eyes.

It was the other short man who had moved close to her that answered the question properly, “Fury called Maria, told her that S.H.I.E.L.D. was compromised. Maria went to Tony for help, Tony told me, I told Sam – oh, by the way, Sam, this are Natasha and Sharon. Nat, Sharon, this is Sam Wilson. We met a few weeks ago on a mission. He’s a vet and worked at the VA in D.C. He helped us – anyway,” he took a deep breath, “The tech used in the Helicarriers was Stark's so he shurt them down easily. We now have three wreckages swimming in the Potomac and city in dismay”

Natasha nodded, seemingly not faced by the information, “We need to publish everything we have on S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA. All the files, all the missions, all the identities. Make it known that they were working together – “

“Way ahead of you, Romanoff,” the man named Tony interrupted, “Well, kind of…I got all the info but I thought I’d give you the honor of destroying your own life.” He winked over his shoulder. Natasha simply glared at him, causing him to awkwardly turn back around, gulping audibly.

“What about them?”, the archer asked and gestured towards Steve who was sitting next to Bucky, their sides pressed together. Steve didn’t even pretend like hadn’t been listening. Natasha turned her head and met his gaze; her face was hard to read but Steve thought he could see something like empathy in her eyes.

“What do you remember?”

Steve blinked. There were thoughts in his head that didn’t make sense. Faces, voices, noises. The sounds of war; the laugher of drunk men; music playing in bars and dancehalls.

_Where are we going?_

_To the future_

The feeling of blood dripping out of his nose. Scrapped knees and bruised ribs.

_I had ‘em on the ropes._

Nagging hunger deep in his stomach. Aching joints and scratchy throats.

A smile, kind and warm.

Gentle hands rubbing his back.

He remembered cold and pain and falling, falling, falling.

And he remembered the Sergeant. He remembered Bucky.

And yet, it wasn’t him that answered, it was the brunette to his right, “Too much.” Bucky voice was deep and firm, but Steve could still hear the emotions underneath. The sorrow. The shame.

Their eyes met and Steve didn’t even have to ask, he knew.

He knew because he could see himself in those eyes.

He knew because Bucky was him and he was Bucky.

He knew because they shared one mind, one heart – beating against the current of time and life itself.

He knew because their thoughts were the same.

They had a debt to pay.

 

There were a handful of Truths, the Captain knew.

The Truth was: His name was Steven Grant Rogers (Because Bucky had said so)

The Truth was: The Sergeant’s name was James Buchanan Barnes

The Truth was: Even if they had nothing, they would always have each other

**Author's Note:**

> A little explanation: HYDRA must have had triggerwords to shut down the WInter Soldier(s) in case he (they, in this case) got of control and I just feel like taking the same words but in English and in reversed order has a certain poetical beauty to it expecially when these words are tied to memories...
> 
> ***
> 
> I really enjoyed writhing this and I might even turn it into something longer one day. You know, with all the angst and hurt and tears...thoughts?
> 
> ***
> 
> [Find me on Tumblr =)](https://dreamworldvictim.tumblr.com/)


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